Prose Before Ho's

The Jinx From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (2 days old)

A few weeks ago in the Maths office we were discussing numerous teachers who were off due to illness or stress or whatever reason. Our head of Department told us all how thankful he was that we all tu… more

All the president's men From MarkJT in In Vino Veritas (4 days old)

It’s possible that H, R and P see me in a different light these days. I see them regularly, of course, and try to ensure that I’m involved in the things they do. But, inevitably, I have more time t… more

A teacher teaches From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (26 days old)

On Friday afternoon the year sevens were having a street party as part of a humanities project. As we were timetabled to have year sevens for Maths period five this meant some of us would have to cove… more

Fond but not in love From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (28 days old)

My ears seem to have been burning this week, and it's not as the result of a unfortunate incident with a Bunsen burner during a science cover lesson. The Assistant Head gave me an almighty fright t… more

Seven down, seven to go From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (33 days old)

My year eight class normally has fourteen pupils, however by the end of today's lesson we had considerably less than that. 1128: One of the girls informs me that her friend is off sick and won't be… more

Shag Bands Banned From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (33 days old)

Given the sudden popularity of shag bands it's inevitable that they are banned at school. Conveniently no new legislation needs to be passed as jewellery isn't allowed anyway. So no one has to reprint… more

I'll let you have that one From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (35 days old)

When pupils are rude towards you you have to take action, especially if they do it in such a way as to create a scene in the classroom. However there are occasions when pupils come out with such good … more

High Risk From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (35 days old)

Our school is in the process of appointing a Learning Coach, which unfortunately bears no resemblance to a Mobile Library or aFun Bus and is the type of coach that trains people. Part of this process … more

Love pease but no understanding From MarkJT in In Vino Veritas (39 days old)

Security staff at airports weald enormous power. It’s no use trying to outfox them. Just comply. I’m becoming a regular user of one particular airport and over the past few months have had a few th… more

The Battle in the Classroom From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (39 days old)

Friday afternoons aren't the easiest time to teach, in fact I doubt they're the easiest time to achieve anything. I have friends who work on flexi-time and around about the time I'm starting my final … more

Quote of the week From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (40 days old)

Modern day teenagers are very aware of the need to keep hydrated and like to use this as justification to get what they want. They often ask to go for a drink during lessons, which isn't allowed. If t… more

Ups and Downs From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (47 days old)

It seems to have been a real mix of up and downs this week. I followed Monday afternoon's stress-fest - 'I don't want to be in your class because I really don't like you' - with my performance managem… more

ENOUGH of the Real Woman! From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (48 days old)

Or perhaps - Daily Mail Watch Day Two. Every other day, some lazy dullard of a Daily Mail writer takes a picture of a minor celebrity wearing a lovely dress and then replicates the picture with a m… more

Spas for curvy girls From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (48 days old)

Going to a spa is supposed to be an absolute treat. A relaxing, sensory experience that makes you feel pampered and cared for. Paper Pants But all too often, a spa or salon visit can be marred by th… more

From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (48 days old)

The top spas for curvy girls Going to a spa is supposed to be an absolute treat. A relaxing, sensory experience that makes you feel pampered and cared for. But all too often, a spa or salon visit ca… more

The joy of the diamante legging From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (49 days old)

There, I said it. If you'd told me a couple of years ago that I'd even own a pair of leggings, let alone find myself extolling the virtues of said eighties throwbacks on a publicly accessible forum, I… more

Anna Anna Anna what *are* you doing? From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (50 days old)

I've been a fan of Anna Scholz for a while now. She's always seemed to me to want to make clothes that flatter and inspire bigger women, and I've hankered after owning one of her designs for a while. … more

Queen Simply Be's fame is spreading... From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (50 days old)

...well only throughout Suffolk, but since when has that been the point? I was called yesterday by Radio Suffolk, who wanted to feature the Mark Fast London Fashion Week story from the point of view o… more

A Storm is Brewing From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (51 days old)

Only two weeks have passed since the start of the school year but you already get the sense that not all is as it should be. You normally get a honeymoon period with a new class but the consensus is t… more

Queen Simply Be introduces - Daily Mail Watch!!! From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (52 days old)

I love the Daily Mail, in a kind of horrified can't-help-myself kinda way. I can't resist reading it online for the bitchy comments, whether it's the 'I'm only writing this because it's what our reade… more

Mark Fast and the indignant fashion pack From QueenSimplyBe in Queen Simply Be (52 days old)

So, you thought body con was just for the size zeroes among us, and that no designer worth their credentials would ever put a woman with a bum in one of their less forgiving designs? Well, think again… more

Rewarding From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (53 days old)

It's important to have a good system of rewards. There's no substitute for good old fashioned praise but actual prizes as it were go a long way. The conventional wisdom is that small and many is bette… more

The New Recruits From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (61 days old)

Every Friday after school I run a Warhammer Club. When I was little I collected the models and it's nice to give some fellow enthusiasts a chance to get together and have some battles. When I was youn… more

Totally Weird From MarkJT in In Vino Veritas (61 days old)

Colin at work loves The Wire. He’s the only one who watches it but we all have the feeling that we’ve watched it too. Several times. Apparently it was the 58th consecutive episode last night. Or somet… more

All alone together From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (61 days old)

I always put my classes in a seating plan. As much as anything it's about showing that you control what happens in your classroom. I'm not against reasonable requests for pupils to move places but it … more

Meet the Official 'It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher' Mascot From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (63 days old)

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Pi From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (63 days old)

Over the summer I was fortunate enough to obtain a kitten - who at this very moment is trying to walk all over my keyboard - from a colleague whose cat had recently had a litter. In true maths teacher… more

Hey Ho Let's Go! From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (64 days old)

The first week back is probably the best week on the year for behaviour, but the worst for lesson planning, frankly it all seems a bit of a chore and you haven't really got into your routine. These tw… more

The tale of the blue tack and the very red face From studentteacher83 in It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher (65 days old)

If you didn't know already and you haven't guessed from the lovely weather we've been having today, it's time to go back to school. Those long summer days spent staring out of the window at the rain a… more

Rise and shine From MarkJT in In Vino Veritas (67 days old)

The Chief Psychiatrist loves his garden. And, I must admit, so do I. It has taken a lot of loving care and attention but it’s worth it - especially at this time of year when it is full of colour. … more